Sometimes You've Got to Go Deeper

"People can always meet you as deeply as they've met themselves."

That's a saying from Matt Kahn I heard a lot in my breathwork training.

Why am I sharing it with you? First, it's something I've taken to heart as a facilitator and coach - and it means a lot to me. But also, it's because I have my own work to do - it's not like everything stopped once I got a certification (although it would be great if it worked that way). I'd be really wary of someone trying to tell you that they're fully healed or cured...I'm not sure it works that way.

Recently my own process has been digging into some residual traumatic energy around an injury from a couple years ago. This work has included MDMA and some light psilocybin sessions, ongoing EMDR and Somatic Experiencing, as well as transformational breathwork.

Over the weekend I ended up doing some EMDR and then the next day a breathwork session that felt pretty significant (it was so nice to participate in an online group, and it also got me excited for the upcoming session I'm leading this Sunday).

Some of the intensity that came up during breathwork could have been from the EMDR, but the reason didn't really matter, I just knew I needed to take care of myself.

I always tell clients and people breathing in my breathwork circles that the larger the experience that comes up, the more time you should give yourself for integration. So I knew I needed to follow this advice myself and do more than my regular practice.

My first instinct was to go for a hike, which is something I do a lot for integration - but it didn't feel right. I wanted to bring in a few things that aren't exactly easy if you're trekking around on a trail.

So instead I grabbed some incense and palo santo, my meditation cushion and journal, and went to a nearby park.

Here's what the afternoon looked like:

I opened my space with prayers, incense and set intentions for my session.

Walking on the grass barefoot

This practice was like a double dip for me because I was getting grounding/earthing in as well as practicing walking meditation. This helped slow down my nervous system and give it time to adjust to the changes that I'm experiencing with EMDR as well as the energetic releases from the breathwork and psilocybin.

Journaling

I did several rounds of journaling in between walking and sitting/mindfulness meditation. There was a lot coming up - I felt like a lot of clarity coming in as I continue to process and rewrite some internal stories. Journaling really supports that so that I can remember and go deeper into what's coming up (and there was a lot at the end of the EMDR, MDMA and breathwork).

Sitting meditation

I practice meditation daily and there are so many benefits (concentration, calm, clarity, emotional equanimity) - and being able to practice outside, with birds chirping, a nice breeze blowing and sun shining on me just felt good for my soul and nervous system.

In between these more formal practices I did heart coherence breathing to further help my nervous system regulate, and really just focused on allowing myself to rest in a state of spaciousness so that I could really feel into whatever wanted to come up.

After a few hours, when I felt complete I closed the space and got a late lunch.

Integration looks different for everyone, and doesn't have to be complicated - you can do any of these practices at home, and I recommend having a daily routine you practice to support yourself. But by creating a simple container I was able to focus in an intentional way and give myself the extra support that I needed based on the work I've been going through.

I came out feeling more clarity about what's coming up in my process. I also got some insight about a few things I'll be adding to my daily integration practice to support the season I'm in right now with my inner work - especially since I'm planning to continue working with sacred mushrooms.

What's your integration look like? If you'd like support in creating a plan and daily practice so that you can get the most out of your plant medicine ceremonies and other work that you're doing, set up a free call, I'd love to chat.

With blessings,
Jonathan